My little ticker can’t take it


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Webb finally blows his whistle and with a big old cartoon style “PHEW” only now can i start to breathe easy again, it feels like the weight of the world has just been lifted from my shoulders.

For god sake Spurs what the bloody hell are you trying to do to us all? This is heart attack football and I’m not sure il be able to take much more? Don’t get me wrong smashing in the winner in the very final seconds has always been the greatest way to win a game, but because we can’t afford any slip ups the pressure is greater than its ever been. The emotions we’re going through is crazy, your sense’s are in over drive, every thing feels like a dream, every pass feels like it takes an age to reach it’s destination, every run seems like the players running in slow motion, you can hear every second counting down tick “Boom” tock “Boom” your heart rate is through the roof. you’re watching the refs every move looking for tell tale signs he’s about to blow, you’re not only hoping for a miracle you’re praying for one too, then he sets of again, running towards goal, you’re thinking “Shoooot” but also don’t “Shoooot” he can’t keep scoring from there, can he? Besides Lennons open, “give it to Lennon” but then he goes over and Webb’s waving play play, I’m now shouting “Get Up you knob” and just as I do he rise’s and excepts the ball, yet again I’m thinking “Shooot” “No give it to Lennon Give it to Lennon” but he’s not listening to the likes of me why would he? he’s Bale-diniho and as the balls now flying through the floodlit sky we can clearly see exactly where it’s heading, yet before it’s even reached the 6 yard box our arms are already starting to raise….. Then …. Lift off, you’re like a shaken can of Coke that’s just had the ring pulled.

Nothing really goes through your mind at that point apart from “Yes” but it’s no ordinary yes, not like “do you fancy a cup of tea love – yes” or “do you want beans with that – errrrr yes” it’s the most screamed out yes you’ll ever produce, it’s the longest yesssssssssssssssssss you’ll ever manage and it’s the most aggressive yes that will leave you, it don’t just come from your mouth, it comes from the deepest pit in your body, from your heart, from your feet your fist and your mind. It’s crazy how many different shapes moves and directions your arms and legs can go in at the same time as shouting the “Yes” and although you’re now out of breath and sucking in air like a fish on the bank, and tho your heart is banging like the drums of a 1000 Zulu’s it’s now a completely different type of feeling, but this time it’s all good.

West Ham played ok I suppose, they did a lot of running about, worked hard enough but just like us don’t have a striker. Our defending in first 50-60 minutes was a bit edgy and nervous, and this gave them the confidence to come at us, and like in previous games this makes things difficult for ourselves. We had enough chances to win this game twice but our chances either came from set pieces or Bales long rang efforts. How Caulker didn’t come away with 1 goal to him name let alone 3 is a crime, jaaskelainen had the game of his life, save after save, who the hell does he think he is putting us through this crap? But in the end tho the boy wonder did it again.

I so wanna have a moan, how the irresponsibility of the board and their failure to get in another striker for us could well end up breaking my little ticker, I wanna scream “will someone else PLEASE help out by scoring a bloody goal” I so wanna moan that we’re playing at such a slow pace and tempo in the first half of games we’re putting ourselves in these ridiculous position towards the end of it, and I so wanna moan that it appears even the rest of the team are saying “give it to Gareth give it to Gareth” but you know what? As much as I wanna moan I just can’t. It’s not a case of blind bias it’s simply down to “how can I moan?” We’ve got Bale-diniho scoring goal of the season every game, some times even twice, we’ve got Lloris making great saves (sorry Brad) and we’ve a team That’s found the Man U it ain’t over till it’s over so well score in the end attitude. These are all the things we’ve been missing over the years, and what’s more Kaboul hasn’t even kicked a ball yet, Adey’s turned into Toress and is off some where with the fairies, Walker hasn’t exactly been himself, Defoe’s been out a few weeks, Rat boy Modric finally got him dream move to chelsea, I mean Real Madrid, VDV went back to wife but I bet she wished he hadn’t bothered and The King Ledders retired. All in all every things stacked against us. We shouldn’t be winning games without a striker, who wins games without a striker? We’ll ok Barcelona and Spain do but as much as I’d like to say we are “we’re neither of them” Bales a bloody left back, who we turned into 1 of the best left wingers on the planet, who now plays a Messi type role going when and where he likes, Yeah I’m missing his robo cop like runs down the line passing defenders with ease and getting the cross in for some one to smash home, but you know what? He’s replaced staying out wide and scaring the life out of right backs with covering every inch of the field and scaring the life out of “everybody”

He picks the ball up and you see players don’t know if they should go to him or stay back, he’s creating confusion yet he’s only on the edge of his own box. The only other time I’ve seen some thing like that was when Gazza used to collect the ball from the Viking, he’d take it turn and you’d feel the crowd adjusting them selves in their seats, in anticipation, you’d hear the rumblings of the fans start to increase because we didn’t just know what he was capable of we’d “seen” what he was capable of, he could turn a simple take from his on keeper on the edge of his box 1 minute into a goal at the other end within the same minute and Bales creating exactly the same feelings.

People always debate the word Legend, and for me Gareth “IS” a Spurs legend, why? simply put because he can and is winning games with moments of absolute genius almost “every” week, the trouble he’s causing teams is a joke, the way he can pass top players takes the piss and the way NO goal keeper in the world would want to face his free kicks right now all adds up to one super super talent. Is he better than Messi or Ronaldo? No, but if he continues to do this week in week out over the nest couple of seasons then he’s right on their tails. We all know the goals can dry up but if they do he’ll just go back to the left wing dial the local taxi firm and hand the phone over to who ever’s right back that day. We also know that Mardid will come calling some time too, I just hope we can keep him a another season or five, but before any of that we’ve the remainder of this season to deal with and the scummy mugs from up the road turn up on Sunday. We really need to keep this run going and being greedy I’d really love us to smash them to bits 5-0 or 6-2 but to be honest it don’t mater if we win 1-0 and the goal comes in the 94th minute, either way we “must” get all 3 points.

So, Bale-diniho should you happen to fancy smashing 1 or 2 in from long distance, you just go ahead and carry on my son.

But P.s 5 or 6 would be just… Well, you know!

I’m sure my little ticker can handle it a bit longer!


By Gh

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  1. Surely it cant be another 90th minute winner can it.
    I can recommend Co- Enzyme Q10 great for soothing the heart and avoid any nasty heart attacks, you can even use them with alcohol, go on, get your self down the chemist ready for sunday.

  2. have you been spying on me? those are my emotions.. great article…
    I hope Gareth always remembers that going elsewhere does not mean enjoyment. The one thing missing from your article is that he plays with such a smile on his face. I do not think the way i see the team playing and Gareth just having fun will be replicated elsewhere. So with that i hope he becomes the Le Tissier of Spurs…. (obviously with a better support cast and style of playing oh and trophies)


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