Player Ratings: Inter Milan 4-1 Spurs

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There are many words that I would like to use to describe this game, but unfortunately, they are not suitable for use on this website. I’m not quite sure how we got through; we have never played so badly. Ever. Ever. The balance was wrong. The personnel were wrong. The tactics were wrong. The goals conceded were wrong. The result was wrong. But we are through. Is that the main thing? I guess so. ‘Nuff said. Let’s rate these failures.

Brad Friedel – 6 – made saves that you would expect him to make, but didn’t make any saves that you wouldn’t expect him to make. I suppose you would describe it as ‘solid’….

Kyle Walker – 3 – didn’t stop crosses from the left…gave away a needless free-kick…offered no attacking threat…constantly out of position…ok, this rating started off as a 5 but it’s going down to 3….hopeless

William Gallas – 3 – couldn’t contend with the runners-in-behind…a horrific swipe for the own goal…should have given away a first half penalty…not the best day for Billy.

Jan Vertonghen – 5 – the best of all our defenders i.e. poor. Made a few crucial tackles but lost Alvarez for Inter’s 4^th which set up a nervy finale.

Kyle Naughton – 5 – the better of the two Kyles, nothing horrific, nothing spectacular. To be honest, I forgot he was on the pitch.

Mousa Dembele – 6 – a pretty solid display from the Moose. Set up the goal, and did look a genuine threat running forward. Still, didn’t exactly set the world alight.

Scott Parker – 4 – great Scott he was bad. Misplacing passes left right and centre, and left right and centre. Didn’t really do much in midfield, didn’t break up any attacks at all.

Jake Livermore – 5 – a typical Jake performance. Nothing awesome, nothing atrocious. Not creative enough for that role, especially alongside Scott.

Gylfi Sigurdsson – 5 – a constant outlet on the left and worked hard as ever. I’m repeating myself, but didn’t do anything spectacular whilst not making any glaring errors.

Jermain Defoe – 4 – did nothing really. A couple of encouraging runs, but again he was a bit selfish. Not finding his early season form.

Emmanuel Adebayor – 5 – he scored! But overall, he was a load of tosh. Ran around a little bit – emphasis on the word little – and held the ball up occasionally – emphasis on the word occasionally. But the goal did send us through.

Substitutes:

Lewis Holtby – 5 – did nothing when he came on – he simply had no-one to pass to. Held the ball in the corner reasonably well.

Aaron Lennon – 4 – did nothing. With neither Bale nor Defoe on the pitch, Holtby and Azza have no potential passes and so the best they can do is hold the ball up.

Steven Caulker – 5 – not the best….came on at a tricky time really. Coming into a petrified defence is never easy and he didn’t do anything right or wrong. Put pressure on Ranocchia where needed at corners.

Fulham at home next! Let’s hope we’re not as */*@*!#*-*@*(;*#*!

By Alex Beck