It Had to be Them

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
Dom Le Roy

It’s 15 May, the final Sunday, and Spurs will be taking the pitch in the Northeast vs. the Toon Army at St James Park. Who could or could not still be in a relegation fight.

Now think about this for more than a split second. I’ll give you two choices: behind Door One lies a four point deficit to the Fairytale Champions, the Foxes, but the knowledge that a cool and calm dispatch of the Geordies guarantees our lads second and no St. You-Know-What Day this season, at long last. Would have been a sumptuous result to contemplate just four or five months ago. But behind Door Two looms a possible title, but only if we win and The Side Who Will Not be Named can only manage a draw home to Villa, who would have already packed the golf clubs and been scouting the Championship for weeks. And should Villa capitulate, well, our second place is obscured by their celebrations—lording over us in red and white one more time.

Which door would you pick—be honest…? Door Two of course because this is sport and weird stuff happens. Witness this season. Hell, maybe it will Coquelin that gets sent off and a Villain who converts the late header—why not?

But how could it have gone any other way than this, possibly the best season for Spurs ever in the Prem, and in more than 50 years of top draw football, that the obstacle to supreme greatness might take the form of Them? The ghosts of Graham and Henry, Bergkamp and Vieira, Seaman and Cole—bring them all out because if we do this… if we win the league by vanquishing them—once and for all—well, Peirs Morgan might disagree, but I say it blows most of the travail of the past two decades out the bloomin’ window. We have perpetual bragging rights so long as Wenger’s trophies keep being Champions League Qualification and two measly FA Cups. We’ll take the league, thank you.

Was last February and “OOOO”’s glorious brace just the warm-up act? And 5 March this year is the real show? Have the scriptwriters—the same blokes who decided that as Fergie and Rooney strode off the pitch at the Stadium of Light thinking they were champions the Noisy Neighbors would score not one, but two goals in stoppage time against hapless QPR to snatch the title—dreamed up a North London fight to end all fights?

Three months to find out.

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Paul is a respected U.S. political pollster (Democrat) based in Madison, Wisconsin and Los Angeles. His love for Spurs began when the Premier League games started appearing regularly in the U.S. and an American lover of football had to choose a side. Bale, Rushdie, Adele, Shakespeare, the Spurs faithful, The Lane, etc. were all irresistible attractions and have made Maslin a Spur for life.


  1. Nope, I'd pick door 1. There is absolutely no chance that the Arse would not beat Villa at home on the last day, with us also needing to win at St James, thus crowning them as champions. Whereas Leicester as deserving champions and us finishing second above our local nemesis would be a more than sweet ending to the season. Laws of probability.

  2. Well, if it goes to the wire, we'd better make sure that there is a clause in Andros's contract that he can't play against us ………….we're poised for the title if we don't lose, last minute of the game, …….. Andros picks the ball up & lets fly……………. & the title goes to the pikeys down the road ………

    Its a funny old game.


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