Mouldy Old Dough, Lt Pigeon

I have resisted the urge to write this article as soon as the West Brom match finished. I wanted time to reflect. Time to choose suitable music. As I think about what I should chose I listen to Lieutenant  Pigeon (here’s a link have a go : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO5GWJJP3FM ) suitably drab and a marching song – a call to arms.

I ponder which piece of music suits my mood (I had a mobile disco from 1973 to about 1980 but really all the music was bought in the 70’s. So my music is classic ! WTF does that mean ! ?). It won’t be Queen (We are the Champions – irony obviously), not Frankie (Two Tribes), not even the Smiths (Frankly Mr Shankly) – maybe The Smiths are a good idea (The Queen is Dead). No, I think “Leader of the Pack” by the Shangri-Las is the song for me – its starts off that he is a handsome young attractive biker but he dies in an accident. I started watching Spurs just before the World Cup – World Cup Willie was the mascot – Jimmy Greaves was going to be England’s super star. He wasn’t *! I was/am madly in love with Spurs – it has been a turbulent often misunderstood relationship…I was on top then they were on top but really passionate all the time. Okay, Leader of the Pack is the wrong music, I am still in love ! “I’m not in love” by 10CC seems a better piece – a shallow denial of love. I am fixated and passionate !! So why aren’t my fevered advances returned ? Why do I get no passion back ? Why is it that Lamela, Chadli, Chiriches, Paulinhio, Davies, Dembele and even Vertonghen, lack passion ?

I’ll tell you why ! Because they are not committed – they are more interested in theimselves than the greater good. If Chiriches was interested in the greater good he would commit Hari Kiri ! But no he and Chadli simply lack talent, as does Harry (good try though) Kane. Lennon is usually a piece of sodium on water but even he looks inert now ! Paulinhio had talent once but he sold that to the devil for a place in Brazil’s world cup team. Vertonghen – why was he on the bench you cry ? Well, why isn’t he club captain ? Because he doesn’t love Spurs and he wouldn’t make a commitment to stay if : a.we don’t get Champions League or  b. if Barca/RM/PSG/Man Ure come a knocking. We can’t have a club captain that every one knows is leaving. So now that that is all in the open he has been benched. Even when Chiriches was caught in two minds what to buy his kids for Christmas early in the second half, Mr Pochettino still did not call on Vertonghen to impose his will. I was watching 4846 miles away and it seemed an obvious call to me ! I have a lot of time for Mousa Dembele, poor old Mousa was the victim of a genetic birth irregularity, his neck muscles are like mush and as a consequence he can’t look up. It probably runs in the family (gently saunters) his Mum is all the time bumping into furniture, his brothers and sisters have planks strapped to their back bones to encourage their gaze to eye level. He simply can’t lift his head to see a pass ! He has talent but his head is simply too heavy for his neck muscles.

Why are we so lack lustre ? Townsend is terrible, he is over committed he feels it is incumbent on him to make Spurs tick, but he is trying too hard when he has the ball and doesn’t try at all when he doesn’t. Poor Ade is the most gifted with a ball but he is not getting support. Perhaps at home we should consider playing two strikers so Ade is not simply squeezed out of the game. Eriksen had a bad day, I am not sure if Lamela and he work well in a team together, they are too similar. Drop one and play a striker. Drop Chadli and bring on someone who both looks like a footballer and can play like one. Chadli merely looks like one. Davies was supposed to make Rose play better and compete for places – but the boy was simply terrible in Belgrade. No really really terrible. Rose must have poisoned him with Chiriches ADD medicine. It is normally locked away so Younes can’t get hold of it ! Getting back to having two strikers at home – we could simply bring on Benteke or Bony or Lukaku who ever we signed over the summer because we couldn’t possibly not buy anyone to replace EZ Oh. That would be more stupid than having “Two Little Boys” as your ring tone.

Aha I have it “Girlfriend in a Coma” The Smiths – click here if you are not depressed enough : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GhoWZ5qTwI or indeed copy and paste.

Mark Norris

*A mystery illness meant the involvement of his back up, Geoff Hurst ! According to a really old geezer (older even than me – I’m 57) that I met in the Turkish Club on White Hart Lane, Greavesie was caught doing speed or amphetamines and dropped !! (No really that was what this guy said ! Weird but there you are !)